This blog was very well written. It isn't easy to divide it into opening, middle, and closing, but the intro and conclusion are clearly there. It also cites credible sources from the biography of a radical musician, Bernstein--who was more politically than musically radical. (The title of the biography is Leonard Bernstein: The Political Life of an American Musician by the way, written by Barry Seldes.) The blog also utilizes some of Bernstein's comments from various magazines and newspapers. It supports its claims with many quotes from these sources. I thought that it lacked a voice, but had awesome organization and diction. (The third blog has the most voice.)
Quentin Tarantino. It discusses the controversies regarding the highly successful film (number one at the US box office) including violence and the fact that only about "30 percent" of the film is conducted in English. What I found interesting was that Tarantino casted French people for French roles and Germans for German roles and Americans for American roles and so forth. It seems obvious and likely that directors should do this, but more than often, they do not. The comments posted about the blog was almost as interesting as the blog itself. My comment is at the bottom after clicking
regularly--almost everyday. I thought that it had a strong voice--which was dramatic and even cynical at times. The blogger is (obviously) a skeptic of creationism. Aside from the skepticism and biased voice, this particular blog actually quotes a credible source like an interview that took place at Harvard University and another blogger's opinions on creationism. This blogger quoting another blogger shows that blogs are interconnected and more a form of communication than sole expression of ideas. I don't necessarily agree with the blogger's pov, but I the way he expressed his opinion was very open and "in-your-face" which (I think) is a big part of blogging. Link to my Blog
At approximately 10:51 A.M. I started my meal in the cafeteria of KIS, sitting on my usual lunch table between the deli and the lunch line. Despite rushing down to the cafeteria after the lunch (or rather brunch) bell, it still took around 5 minutes to buy a sandwich from the deli. It was a good sandwich comprised of wheat bread, meat, lettuce, pickles, and some kind of sauce. As I took a bite out of the sandwich, I saw (in the distance) a good friend of mine approaching the table with a lunch tray. She ate her lunch rathe hurriedly for she had an assignment to finish up during lunch. Another friend ate her lunch (of the very same menu) slowly as she loudly complained of the rising price of lunches in the school cafeteria. I ate my lunch quietly, observing the course of their meal as I chewed and swallowed mine with sips of mango juice.
The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde
a. identify climax, major conflict, resolution or denoument, what type of plot (see page of literary terms)
The climax of The Picture of Dorian Gray is the murder of Basil by Dorian. Dorian's problem is that he can see the deterioration of his soul, however, we, as readers, see that his real problem is his vanity and selfishness. He, blaming this on Basil, the painter of his formidable portrait, murders him with a knife. The resolution is death for Dorian--if this could be called a resolution at all. Wilde tricks the readers by making Dorian perform good deeds to save his soul, but his so called altruism was just a way to save himself, and his portrait grows even more hideous. Dorian stabs the portrait and ends up killing himself.
b. comment about setting
The novel is set in Victorian England where people are engrossed by beauty and hedonistic lifestyles. Dorian becomes a symbol of this new culture of the British by displaying his wealth, beauty, and youth in opulent ways.
c. identify one major symbol and one minor.
The (obvious) major symbol is the portrait. The portrait represents Dorian's soul and conscience. After the portrait takes his place in growing old and "ugly" (in the words of Gray), he loses interest in the feelings of others and fails to feel any giult for all his wrong doings. The portrait is a simulacrum of Gray, reflecting the state of Gray's soul with every evil doing.
Lord Henry is a symbol of a new hedonistic British culture. (Dorian actually represents this, too.)
d. discuss two characters. Label as round or flat, dynamic or static. Are they archetypal or foils?
Lord Henry is a round, static character. He is characterized as a man who does not take life seriously; he frequently makes cynical jokes and encourages a hedonistic lifestyle. His personality remains inert throughout the novel, even when his wife divorces him.
Duchess Monmouth is a flat, static character. The readers are not given much information about her except that she is unhappily married and shares Lord Henry (her cousin)'s fondness of pleasure and cynicism. She takes a liking to Dorian.
e. Open to the exact middle. What page? Write one paragraph about how this one page relates thematically, symbolically,
or other (just not all plot) to the rest of the book.
Page 92/93
In this scene, Dorian fears that Basil will discover his portrait ans see what has happened to his soul. Throughout the book, Dorian is overcome by fear that someone will discover his true self. He locks his portrait in the attic and examines it. He becomes afraid of the portrait itself. Dorian does not care that he has ruined Basil's masterpiece, he only cares about himself and his feelings. He never learns to care for others which leads to his downfall.
f. Tell me one thing other that really only someone who has read the book will get.
I found it really strange that Lord Henry would allow Dorian to ruin the reputation of his sister and cousin. Although Wilde only hints to Dorian and Henry's sister having a history.
Also, I heard that Wilde wrote this book when he was thoroughly disappointed in humanity. It really shows throughout the book. Especially when Dorian tries to do good knowing that he is secretly being selfish.
REPETITION and PARALLELISM
Parallel-Preposition:
By the blue and foamy sea, by the rustic and aged pier, by the warm and numerous sands of the ocean was a factory that threatened the existence of these cherished goods of earth and time.
Dependent Clauses:
When she listened to the sound, when she heard it grow louder and more cacophonous, and when she felt the vibrations of the hideous noise in her ear, she broke down and cried in fear.
Key Idea:
The key was lost, and this key, and it only, could open the door to the old house of the untrodden forest. 11/03/09
COMPOUND SENTENCE WITH ELLIPTICAL CONSTRUCTION
(comma indicates the omitted verb)
S V DO ; S , DO
We like classical music; those guys , rock.
We leave out the verb in the second clause BECAUSE AND ONLY IF it would needlessly repeat the verb of the first clause. Notice also, you may have a direct object (DO), which receives the action of the verb; or you may have a subject complement describing the verb.
You need parallel wording in both clauses, and the verb must be exactly the same.
Examples: The mother and son each had a goal; hers, educational; his, recreational.
For many of us, the new math teacher was a savior; for others, a pain.
"Thought is the blossom; language, the bud; action, the fruit." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Be sure that each sentence really has two independent clauses in it (even thought the second has an unexpressed verb).
Be sure that the verb omitted in the second clause matches exactly, in form and tense, the verb in the first clause.
Use a semicolon if there is no conjunction; if there is a conjunction, many writers use a comma. A semicolon does not go with a coordinating conjunction.
1. Which of the following doesn't work? Why.
a. Bill played a musical number by Bach; Joan, Beethoven. b. Lou Williams was in for adultery; John Jones for gambling.
c. His mother told him to rent a car; his sister, to pack the suitcases. B does not work because it is missing a coma.
2. Write your own original example.
The monkey climbs trees in the jungle; the panda, bamboos of the forest.
3. Find one from something you have read (this may take a couple of weeks).
11/04/09
COMPOUND SENTENCE WITH EXPLANATORY STATEMENT (clauses separated by a colon)
General statement (idea) : specific statement (example).
----- (independent clause : (independent clause)
Explanation
Many of you use this sentence construction naturally. Some of you work at it, but don't know the rules. Although this sentence construction is a compound, it is very different in content, as the colon implies. The colon performs a special function: It signals the reader that something important or explanatory will follow (as this very sentence illustrates). In this pattern, the colon signals that the second clause will specifically explain or expand some idea expressed only vaguely in the first clause.
The first statement still contains a word or an idea that needs explaining; the second statement will give some specific information or example about the idea.
When to use this pattern
Use it when you want the second part of the sentence to explain the first part, give an example, or provide an answer to an implied question.
Examples
Darwin's The Origin of Species forcibly states a harsh truth: Only the fittest survive.
Remember Yogi Berra's advice: It ain't over till it's over.
"The murmuring water, the morning fresh garden unheated yet by the lemon sun, the flight of a white-browed blackbird: all helped to make unreal the tableau of the man kneeling by the sundial." -- Reginald Hill, Ruling Passion
Old cars and young children have several things in common: Both are a responsibility and have to be fed often or they break down," Claudia Glenn Downing, Lear's, November 1992
- - Examples from The Art of Styling Sentences by Ann Longknife and K.D. Sullivan
Exercise
Write a short 4-5 sentence paragraph concerning your reading about Frankenstein. Include a colon.
Frankenstein opens with a series of letters from a brother to his sister: he recounts the story of how he befriended a stranger. The brother, the captain of a ship, writes about the ship getting stuck in icy waters where it is dangerous to steer. He and his crew see a large though distant figure sledding. Some time later, a man is found who was in pursuit of the larger man for some unspecified reason. The man is obvious tortured by grief, but he manages to befriend the captain and his crew who restore the stranger back to health.
-- The following sentence has a lengthy series joined by repeated possessive pronouns. Do you think the sentence is effective or weak? What feature contributes strength or detracts from the rhetorical effectiveness?
"Walled off from the roaring traffic of the Embankment and Fleet Street and High Holborn, each Inn is a self-centered community with its own gardens, lush with cherry and magnolia, camelia, and crocus; its own library; its own dining hall; its labyrinth of walks and lawns; its blocks of offices and flats let out mostly to barristers." Robert Wernick, Smithsonian, May 1992
The sentence is a bit too long to continue to engage the attention of the reader--although I understand the description of the Inns, the meaning of the sentence seems to be lost in length and adjectives. This seems to be the main weakness, as the reader cannot remember all the infrmation presented.
The parallel structure of the sentence helps the reader organize ideas and expect what will be coming next--this is definitely a a strength.
12/01/09
Explanation
This pattern is the simplest form of the series types. Just separate the items by commas. No conjunction links the final two items. Omitting this conjunction is effective because it gives your sentence a quick, staccato sound.
Read the series aloud so you can hear whether the items flow together WITHOUT the conjunction before the last item. Remember that tone and sound and fluency are important here. Also, remember that each item should receive equal emphasis.
Develop your ear!
Examples
It took courage, skill, knowledge -- and he had them all.
Their friendship has endured, in spite of arguments, boyfriends, distance.
I have come to you without sin, without guile, without evil, without a witness against me." - The Book of the Dead
EXERCISE -- Copy and paste this entire exercise into your own page. Write your answers in a different color or font. We will chose two people's in class to go over.
1. Look carefully at the following sentence. Does it work? If so, why? If not, where can the sentence be broken into two or shorter ones that are not overwhelming.
Robert Mondavi's father, Cesare, came from Sassafarento near Ancona, on the Adriatic coast of the Marches -- not a particularly rich or fertile part of Italy even now, nor, except for Verdicchio, much of a wine-growing region, and a good deal less so, no doubt, in 1883, when Cesare was born, the son of a large, simple family and possibly the first member of it, I have read somewhere, to be able to sign his name. -- by Cyril Ray "Robert Mondavi of the Napa Valley" The sentence does not work because the reader will most likely get lost in the details.
"Robert Mondavi's father, Cesare, came from Sassafarento near Ancona, on the Adriatic coast of the Marches. It is not a particularly rich or fertile part of Italy even now. Except for Verdicchio, much of a wine-growing region, and a good deal less so, no doubt, in 1883. This was the time Cesare was born, the son of a large, simple family and possibly the first member of it, I have read somewhere, to be able to sign his name. -- by Cyril Ray "Robert Mondavi of the Napa Valley"
2. Does this sentence work? If so, why? If not, please correct.
The typical teenage user of snuff is white, active, and athletic, and subjected to very heavy peer pressure. The conjunction between active and athletic seems to break the flow the sentence.
"The typical teenage user of snuff is white, active, athletic, and subjected to very heavy peer pressure." would help with the general flow of the sentence.
3. Same instructions -- The children gathered around the clown wishing for a balloon, angling for a smile, bowing before the childhood consumerism. A conjunction would enhance the flow and organization of ideas here, because the ideas are in phrases and may be difficult to follow. The sentence seems incomplete without a conjunction, and the phrases are too long to produce a good rhythm.
"The children gathered around the clown wishing for a balloon, angliing for a smile, and bowing before childhood consumerism.
Comparison of two Books
The Picture of Dorian Gray
The Importance of Being Earnest
1. The use of wit and sarcasm to expose weaknesses of society.
2. Exposure of silly social customs.
3. Main characters with weak morals.
4. Hedonism--about a frivolous lifestyle, and perhaps it's consequences.
5. Impersonal relationships--characters never seem quite serious enough.
VOCABULARY
BLOG
http://www.tnr.com/booksarts/story.html?id=c1b3d9b6-4c49-4907-b49b-1230f9d2480b
This blog was very well written. It isn't easy to divide it into opening, middle, and closing, but the intro and conclusion are clearly there. It also cites credible sources from the biography of a radical musician, Bernstein--who was more politically than musically radical. (The title of the biography is Leonard Bernstein: The Political Life of an American Musician by the way, written by Barry Seldes.) The blog also utilizes some of Bernstein's comments from various magazines and newspapers. It supports its claims with many quotes from these sources. I thought that it lacked a voice, but had awesome organization and diction. (The third blog has the most voice.)
http://www.tnr.com/booksarts/story.html?id=3c681e8c-49b8-4564-9da0-251efa66c348 This is a movie review on "Inglourious Basterds" and a performance review on
Quentin Tarantino. It discusses the controversies regarding the highly successful film (number one at the US box office) including violence and the fact that only about "30 percent" of the film is conducted in English. What I found interesting was that Tarantino casted French people for French roles and Germans for German roles and Americans for American roles and so forth. It seems obvious and likely that directors should do this, but more than often, they do not. The comments posted about the blog was almost as interesting as the blog itself. My comment is at the bottom after clicking
"TNR Talkback". http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/badastronomy/2009/08/21/creationist-beaned-in-boston/ This blogger usually writes about science related issues
regularly--almost everyday. I thought that it had a strong voice--which was dramatic and even cynical at times. The blogger is (obviously) a skeptic of creationism. Aside from the skepticism and biased voice, this particular blog actually quotes a credible source like an interview that took place at Harvard University and another blogger's opinions on creationism. This blogger quoting another blogger shows that blogs are interconnected and more a form of communication than sole expression of ideas. I don't necessarily agree with the blogger's pov, but I the way he expressed his opinion was very open and "in-your-face" which (I think) is a big part of blogging.
Link to my Blog
Link to newest blog post on blog
Borges' style
At approximately 10:51 A.M. I started my meal in the cafeteria of KIS, sitting on my usual lunch table between the deli and the lunch line. Despite rushing down to the cafeteria after the lunch (or rather brunch) bell, it still took around 5 minutes to buy a sandwich from the deli. It was a good sandwich comprised of wheat bread, meat, lettuce, pickles, and some kind of sauce. As I took a bite out of the sandwich, I saw (in the distance) a good friend of mine approaching the table with a lunch tray. She ate her lunch rathe hurriedly for she had an assignment to finish up during lunch. Another friend ate her lunch (of the very same menu) slowly as she loudly complained of the rising price of lunches in the school cafeteria. I ate my lunch quietly, observing the course of their meal as I chewed and swallowed mine with sips of mango juice.
The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde
- a. identify climax, major conflict, resolution or denoument, what type of plot (see page of literary terms)
The climax of The Picture of Dorian Gray is the murder of Basil by Dorian. Dorian's problem is that he can see the deterioration of his soul, however, we, as readers, see that his real problem is his vanity and selfishness. He, blaming this on Basil, the painter of his formidable portrait, murders him with a knife. The resolution is death for Dorian--if this could be called a resolution at all. Wilde tricks the readers by making Dorian perform good deeds to save his soul, but his so called altruism was just a way to save himself, and his portrait grows even more hideous. Dorian stabs the portrait and ends up killing himself.- b. comment about setting
The novel is set in Victorian England where people are engrossed by beauty and hedonistic lifestyles. Dorian becomes a symbol of this new culture of the British by displaying his wealth, beauty, and youth in opulent ways.- c. identify one major symbol and one minor.
The (obvious) major symbol is the portrait. The portrait represents Dorian's soul and conscience. After the portrait takes his place in growing old and "ugly" (in the words of Gray), he loses interest in the feelings of others and fails to feel any giult for all his wrong doings. The portrait is a simulacrum of Gray, reflecting the state of Gray's soul with every evil doing.Lord Henry is a symbol of a new hedonistic British culture. (Dorian actually represents this, too.)
- d. discuss two characters. Label as round or flat, dynamic or static. Are they archetypal or foils?
Lord Henry is a round, static character. He is characterized as a man who does not take life seriously; he frequently makes cynical jokes and encourages a hedonistic lifestyle. His personality remains inert throughout the novel, even when his wife divorces him.Duchess Monmouth is a flat, static character. The readers are not given much information about her except that she is unhappily married and shares Lord Henry (her cousin)'s fondness of pleasure and cynicism. She takes a liking to Dorian.
- e. Open to the exact middle. What page? Write one paragraph about how this one page relates thematically, symbolically,
or other (just not all plot) to the rest of the book.Page 92/93
In this scene, Dorian fears that Basil will discover his portrait ans see what has happened to his soul. Throughout the book, Dorian is overcome by fear that someone will discover his true self. He locks his portrait in the attic and examines it. He becomes afraid of the portrait itself. Dorian does not care that he has ruined Basil's masterpiece, he only cares about himself and his feelings. He never learns to care for others which leads to his downfall.
- f. Tell me one thing other that really only someone who has read the book will get.
I found it really strange that Lord Henry would allow Dorian to ruin the reputation of his sister and cousin. Although Wilde only hints to Dorian and Henry's sister having a history.Also, I heard that Wilde wrote this book when he was thoroughly disappointed in humanity. It really shows throughout the book. Especially when Dorian tries to do good knowing that he is secretly being selfish.
REPETITION and PARALLELISM
Parallel-Preposition:
By the blue and foamy sea, by the rustic and aged pier, by the warm and numerous sands of the ocean was a factory that threatened the existence of these cherished goods of earth and time.
Dependent Clauses:
When she listened to the sound, when she heard it grow louder and more cacophonous, and when she felt the vibrations of the hideous noise in her ear, she broke down and cried in fear.
Key Idea:
The key was lost, and this key, and it only, could open the door to the old house of the untrodden forest.
11/03/09
COMPOUND SENTENCE WITH ELLIPTICAL CONSTRUCTION
(comma indicates the omitted verb)
S V DO ; S , DO
We like classical music; those guys , rock.
We leave out the verb in the second clause BECAUSE AND ONLY IF it would needlessly repeat the verb of the first clause. Notice also, you may have a direct object (DO), which receives the action of the verb; or you may have a subject complement describing the verb.
You need parallel wording in both clauses, and the verb must be exactly the same.
Examples: The mother and son each had a goal; hers, educational; his, recreational.
For many of us, the new math teacher was a savior; for others, a pain.
"Thought is the blossom; language, the bud; action, the fruit." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
1. Which of the following doesn't work? Why.
a. Bill played a musical number by Bach; Joan, Beethoven.
b. Lou Williams was in for adultery; John Jones for gambling.
c. His mother told him to rent a car; his sister, to pack the suitcases.
B does not work because it is missing a coma.
2. Write your own original example.
The monkey climbs trees in the jungle; the panda, bamboos of the forest.
3. Find one from something you have read (this may take a couple of weeks).
11/04/09
COMPOUND SENTENCE WITH EXPLANATORY STATEMENT (clauses separated by a colon)
- General statement (idea) : specific statement (example).
----- (independent clause : (independent clause)Explanation
Many of you use this sentence construction naturally. Some of you work at it, but don't know the rules. Although this sentence construction is a compound, it is very different in content, as the colon implies. The colon performs a special function: It signals the reader that something important or explanatory will follow (as this very sentence illustrates). In this pattern, the colon signals that the second clause will specifically explain or expand some idea expressed only vaguely in the first clause.
The first statement still contains a word or an idea that needs explaining; the second statement will give some specific information or example about the idea.
When to use this pattern
Use it when you want the second part of the sentence to explain the first part, give an example, or provide an answer to an implied question.
Examples
- Darwin's The Origin of Species forcibly states a harsh truth: Only the fittest survive.
- Remember Yogi Berra's advice: It ain't over till it's over.
- "The murmuring water, the morning fresh garden unheated yet by the lemon sun, the flight of a white-browed blackbird: all helped to make unreal the tableau of the man kneeling by the sundial." -- Reginald Hill, Ruling Passion
- Old cars and young children have several things in common: Both are a responsibility and have to be fed often or they break down," Claudia Glenn Downing, Lear's, November 1992
- - Examples from The Art of Styling Sentences by Ann Longknife and K.D. SullivanAdditional Sources on Colons
Leo on Colons
eHow on Colons(with a punctuation and capitalization tip)
Exercise
Write a short 4-5 sentence paragraph concerning your reading about Frankenstein. Include a colon.
Frankenstein opens with a series of letters from a brother to his sister: he recounts the story of how he befriended a stranger. The brother, the captain of a ship, writes about the ship getting stuck in icy waters where it is dangerous to steer. He and his crew see a large though distant figure sledding. Some time later, a man is found who was in pursuit of the larger man for some unspecified reason. The man is obvious tortured by grief, but he manages to befriend the captain and his crew who restore the stranger back to health.
-- The following sentence has a lengthy series joined by repeated possessive pronouns. Do you think the sentence is effective or weak? What feature contributes strength or detracts from the rhetorical effectiveness?
"Walled off from the roaring traffic of the Embankment and Fleet Street and High Holborn, each Inn is a self-centered community with its own gardens, lush with cherry and magnolia, camelia, and crocus; its own library; its own dining hall; its labyrinth of walks and lawns; its blocks of offices and flats let out mostly to barristers." Robert Wernick, Smithsonian, May 1992
The sentence is a bit too long to continue to engage the attention of the reader--although I understand the description of the Inns, the meaning of the sentence seems to be lost in length and adjectives. This seems to be the main weakness, as the reader cannot remember all the infrmation presented.
The parallel structure of the sentence helps the reader organize ideas and expect what will be coming next--this is definitely a a strength.
12/01/09
Explanation
This pattern is the simplest form of the series types. Just separate the items by commas. No conjunction links the final two items. Omitting this conjunction is effective because it gives your sentence a quick, staccato sound.
Read the series aloud so you can hear whether the items flow together WITHOUT the conjunction before the last item. Remember that tone and sound and fluency are important here. Also, remember that each item should receive equal emphasis.
Develop your ear!
Examples
It took courage, skill, knowledge -- and he had them all.
Their friendship has endured, in spite of arguments, boyfriends, distance.
I have come to you without sin, without guile, without evil, without a witness against me." - The Book of the Dead
EXERCISE -- Copy and paste this entire exercise into your own page. Write your answers in a different color or font. We will chose two people's in class to go over.
1. Look carefully at the following sentence. Does it work? If so, why? If not, where can the sentence be broken into two or shorter ones that are not overwhelming.
Robert Mondavi's father, Cesare, came from Sassafarento near Ancona, on the Adriatic coast of the Marches -- not a particularly rich or fertile part of Italy even now, nor, except for Verdicchio, much of a wine-growing region, and a good deal less so, no doubt, in 1883, when Cesare was born, the son of a large, simple family and possibly the first member of it, I have read somewhere, to be able to sign his name. -- by Cyril Ray "Robert Mondavi of the Napa Valley"
The sentence does not work because the reader will most likely get lost in the details.
"Robert Mondavi's father, Cesare, came from Sassafarento near Ancona, on the Adriatic coast of the Marches. It is not a particularly rich or fertile part of Italy even now. Except for Verdicchio, much of a wine-growing region, and a good deal less so, no doubt, in 1883. This was the time Cesare was born, the son of a large, simple family and possibly the first member of it, I have read somewhere, to be able to sign his name. -- by Cyril Ray "Robert Mondavi of the Napa Valley"
2. Does this sentence work? If so, why? If not, please correct.
The typical teenage user of snuff is white, active, and athletic, and subjected to very heavy peer pressure.
The conjunction between active and athletic seems to break the flow the sentence.
"The typical teenage user of snuff is white, active, athletic, and subjected to very heavy peer pressure." would help with the general flow of the sentence.
3. Same instructions -- The children gathered around the clown wishing for a balloon, angling for a smile, bowing before the childhood consumerism.
A conjunction would enhance the flow and organization of ideas here, because the ideas are in phrases and may be difficult to follow. The sentence seems incomplete without a conjunction, and the phrases are too long to produce a good rhythm.
"The children gathered around the clown wishing for a balloon, angliing for a smile, and bowing before childhood consumerism.
Comparison of two Books
The Picture of Dorian Gray
The Importance of Being Earnest
1. The use of wit and sarcasm to expose weaknesses of society.
2. Exposure of silly social customs.
3. Main characters with weak morals.
4. Hedonism--about a frivolous lifestyle, and perhaps it's consequences.
5. Impersonal relationships--characters never seem quite serious enough.