December+1+2009+Sentence+without+conjunctions

1. Look carefully at the following sentence. Does it work? If so, why? If not, where can the sentence be broken into two or shorter ones that are not overwhelming. Robert Mondavi's father, Cesare, came from Sassafarento near Ancona, on the Adriatic coast of the Marches -- not a particularly rich or fertile part of Italy even now, nor, except for Verdicchio, much of a wine-growing region, and a good deal less so, no doubt, in 1883, when Cesare was born, the son of a large, simple family and possibly the first member of it, I have read somewhere, to be able to sign his name. -- by Cyril Ray "Robert Mondavi of the Napa Valley"

Robert Mondavi's father, Cesare, came from Sassafarento near Ancona, on the Adriatic coast of the Marches. It is not a particularly rich or fertile part of Italy even now, nor, except for Verdicchio, much of a wine-growing region, and a good deal less so. No doubt, in 1883, when Cesare was born, the son of a large, simple family and possibly the first member of it, I have read somewhere, to be able to sign his name.**
 * The sentence can be broken into two or shorter ones that are not overwhelming. I would preferably break it like this:

2. Does this sentence work? If so, why? If not, please correct. The typical teenage user of snuff is white, active, and athletic, and subjected to very heavy peer pressure.


 * I think this works because there's like two parts to this description. The first part describes the outside look and the second part, starting from subjected, describes his heavy pressure. It's like as if it's "user of snuff is (white, active, and athletic) and (subjected to very heavy peer pressure).**

3. Same instructions -- The children gathered around the clown wishing for a balloon, angling for a smile, bowing before the childhood consumerism.


 * It works because it helps the flow of the sentence. The tone and the fluency is better without an and before blowing. It seems like a parallelism too! : )**